Irene, Caregiver to Aging Parents
Irene is a caregiver to both of her elderly parents. She recently navigated the healthcare system with her 88-year-old father who was partially paralyzed from two strokes and had just experienced a hip fracture. He had a brief stint in a rehabilitation facility after strong advocacy from family to transfer him there, but ultimately, left the program early. His wife, who prepared home-cooked nutritious meals; combined with in-home rehabilitative care, and Irene managing care gaps, helped her father recover.
Irene’s mother, also 88, is her father’s primary caregiver, despite having her own age-related health issues including hearing loss, forgetfulness, osteoarthritis and anxiety related to caring for a loved one with advanced frailty. Seeing her parents decline, Irene made the decision to move cities with her husband to be closer to her parents. This gives her peace of mind to know she can be present when expected, and unexpected, health issues common with aging parents arise.
Irene describes her mother as an ‘angel’ who is determined to keep her husband at home to maximize his (and her) quality of life as they age. With Irene’s needed oversight and frequent visits to help with day-to-day care that can’t be met by existing system gaps, for now her parents continue to enjoy living together in their own home. In Irene’s own words:
“My dad fell and fractured his hip and spent a long time in the hospital. During his stay, many things happened that were worrisome and confusing; he couldn’t eat as a result of his recent stroke that led to him losing 20% of his weight in 6 weeks. He couldn’t sleep at night and therefore slept most of the day. As a result, we were told he was too weak and tired to do even limited rehabilitation physiotherapy. Had family not advocated and intervened by insisting on consultation and follow-up for meal plans, sleep aids, and physiotherapy, I worry that he might have passed away in the hospital.
Looking back, I think there were opportunities for the healthcare team to take the time to ask him specifically what he thought was causing his weakening state and what exactly he needed on a daily basis to get his strength back. Then, they could have used their knowledge of his illness to help our family understand what our options were.
“Every conversation, every day, every encounter has special and serious importance to the patient and their families"
Not everyone has the innate ability to communicate clearly. Sometimes these skills need to be developed and honed. In my opinion, if there’s one profession where these skills are critical, it’s in the medical profession. I think my dad’s course would have been easier on him and my family if the team communicated to us clearly what was happening, and told us what to expect, and what not to expect, with respect to his recovery.
It’s wonderful to hear that UHN is aware of the gap in communication skills training in healthcare education. Especially in geriatrics and palliative care, where every conversation, every day, every encounter has special and serious importance to the patient and their families. Being aware of how the lack of clear communication negatively impacts the patient and family and may cause unnecessary suffering is a start. Congratulations to you and your teams for taking needed steps to improve the system. Continue this type of excellent training!”
